Life Where You're Expected to be PERFECT!

Hey I got my hair cut today but that's not what made it bad. I just thought I should share the start of my day. It is Monday so I should have seen this coming. Well I didn't have to go back to school today but I go back tomorrow. The first half of the day was good. Like I said I got my hair cut and I really like but its sorta hard to see with heaka long bangs in front of your face. So I went to my dads office thing, more like airport - small airport. And right as I was leaving I kept getting criticized, a little criticism is good but not this much. I got so upset I didn't say more than 2 sentences to anybody at any one time. The only person I had a conversation with was Zac but thats differnt I can talk to him anytime, he is the only person who makes me feel good about myself! It's hard when everyone looks to you and wants you help, your advise. It's stressful when your expected to be perfect! And it hurts when people say "Oh, you think you're 'all that'!" And I don't think that I just try to be what everyone wants me to be and try to be the perfect "Miss Popular". When actually people whouldn't even know who I was if I didn't have the friends that I have! But now that they think that I think I'm 'all that', they dont like me. I'm still popular around school because Mady and everyone else use me. And I just have to let them because what else do I have to do. I can't sit around and mope all day. I ACT like I'm OK. I ACT like I'm oblivious to them using me. But I'm NOT. A reason I wan't to be an actress. And people say that I can't be because I can't act! Newsflash: I'M ACTING RIGHT NOW! I have to cry myself to sleep somenights because of what people say about me. That crazy chic you see around school is not me. That just another act! Everyone says they want to be normal, but normal is just a state-of-mind. But when you have to be 'normal' in everyone elses eyes. You become a million different people. A million different ACTS!!! What happend to just be yourself? In this world you have to be 'one of them'. Ya, ok, acting makes me be 'one of them'. But with acting you can experince differnt people in differnt situation, just trying to make it through another day. You can PLAY differnt roles. But at the end of the day you come back as yourself, but knowing what it's like to walk in someone elses shoes. And you learn from that character experinces and learning how those people tick. But at the end of the day you are you! And you don't have to pretend. But right now it's not like that for me I have to ACT 24/7. And that gets real tireing. It's just, just stressful, just hectic, just crazy, just not the way it should be...

Sorry

Sorry my brother is such a computer hog! But now I'm finally able to get on! Well the Friday night was awesome and Saturday until five. Thats when Zac came over. We had soo much fun playing some paintball video game that I didn't really play I just sat there watching Zac and my brother play. But my step-mom, uggh, she made us all go to bed a 11:30! At my mom's house it is so much better we can stay up heaka late. Any way Saturday we had a BB war. My perfect aim made us win every time, that is untill my brother got the auto-matic BB shotgun. That thing HURTS!!! But it was so much fun. I guess thats all for now...

BYE

The 'Person'

Good Morning,
Well I guess I should tell you about this 'person' I was talking about. But here's a hint "...I have an awesome guy..." If you read my little about me thing you would have known all along! He is supposed to come over to my house today. I am so lucky he is also my brothers friend. My parents have this thing about guys. Whatever. But anyway, I'm glad I'll be able to see him more when we get back from winter break though it won't be quiet. People are ALWAYS mobbing us. It's hard when your friends with the most popular girl in school! It's like everyone always knows what your doing and if they don't know they'll find out soon! I remember a time when, well before I tell you I have to tell you that there is some church group thing that comes to my school I don't go to the group but I'm friends with the people that come. Ok, back to the story, so Alex, Tyler, Travis, and some other people were following us around the entire school and I figured that if we go by Jason (one of the church people) we could make them stop, didn't help. So I told Jason to make them stay back 'cause we were going to head over to the benches, I really didn't think that Jason would, but when we got there we turned around and Jason had his arms out in a way to block them from getting through and you could see they were really mad and finally gave up. But that wouldn't stop them forever! They still won't stop bugging us, but now it's mostly Travis. The other idiots come sometimes. Well that's all for now...

BYE

Hey Ya'll!

I just set up Mobil Blogger. This should be fun! Now the second something happens I can tell you! Cool, I know!

BYE

Hey!

Hey, What's up?
Welcome, I guess. What a time to start! My life as gone completely nuts! For good and for bad...
My school is...fun...sorta... Outside school: things aren't as great. My parents... well it's a confusing topic...
Well I'll tell you more about 'a person' later!

BYE